peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
