i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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