He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Randomize
