Cold hands, warm shart.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
