I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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