i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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