Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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