We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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