nutella sex= disaster
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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