is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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