Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
