I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
