am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
