the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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