The brown eye won't let me do that either.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
