i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
