hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
