You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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