Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
