I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
