T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
two words: eviction party
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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