So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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