Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
