I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
