They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
