do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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