we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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