so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Green mimosas i think yes
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
