You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
