Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
