Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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