I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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