i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
