my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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