you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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