so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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