dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
