drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
