His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
