So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
