community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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