you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
