so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This is classic penis vs brain.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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