You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
