Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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