No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
