We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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