I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
