HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
