Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Porn is love you can see.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
