im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
