Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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