you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
