Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
