I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
