home. puking in laundry basket.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
