okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
