This girl is more easily done than said...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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