The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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