Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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