margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
