Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
