So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
