and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I seem to have left my pride at pride
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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