I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize