just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
