Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
