My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
