I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
