I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
All the doctor said was why
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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