If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
