Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
