Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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