Pregnant stripper...not hot.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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